Describe at least one example of a microaggression which you detected this week or remember from another time. In what context did the microaggression happen? What did you think and feel when you observed the microaggression or when you found yourself as the target of a microaggression?
My husband is a football coach and we (as in our kids and myself) attend every Friday night football game. At one particular game a white lady came up to me and said, "you have a well behaved baby." I smiled at her and said, "thank you." However, I then thought to myself...how are kids supposed to act? Is it because they are black children that they are expected to be misbehaving? Before I had children I never liked to see them running around in public without displaying self-control. So when I had mine I made sure that when we are out and about that they act like they have at least a little home-training; it is also unsafe they could be just one step away from falling down the bleachers and breaking an arm. My children who are currently three and one years of age sit and watch the entire game, my one year old falls to sleep my half-time but my three year old enjoys watching his father coach.
The context of this microaggression was microinvalidation, I am sure she did not mean any harm by her comment nor did I take it as a personal attack. She seemed to be a very nice lady who doesn't go around making comments to hurt others; I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
In what ways did your observation experiences this week affect your perception of the effects of discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes on people
I still have the same perception on the effects of discrimination, prejudice and stereotypes of people because have been on the receiving end of all of these. However, due to Dr. Sue's video I was able to gain insight on how other races are affected by these intentional/unintentional attacks on their culture/race. He also made several good points about how the individuals who make these comments minimize it to make the recipient to be too sensitive. I thought only my culture had these feelings about racial/cultural microaggressions, glad and sad to know that others understand my feelings.
You provided a really good example with your microagression. I teach students with disabilities and most have a hard time regulating their emotions. So I can imagine that occasionally in public that there might be an outburst or two, just like with any child. I have been in public with some of my students while they are having a meltdown and you can just feel people staring at you and making assumptions of your parenting and/or teaching skills.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and insights!
Abby
I like the scenario you used. I have heard people say that many times and sometimes you do wonder, what do you mean? how do you expect my child to be behaving? As you stated, the video this week with Dr. Sue has helped in understanding the different forms of microaggression and that sometimes the person making the comment do not realize they are doing that. This is very interesting to learn about! I enjoyed your post!
ReplyDeleteHi Erikka. This is a little tricky. When I read this story I did not imagine any kind of insult. In fact, quite the opposite that she was truly complimenting you on your obviously happy yet in control children. I can imagine myself saying that to all different kinds of families here. How can I notice when an offense has been taken? Do you think she should have known that would offend you? I have been thinking at the end of this week, writing about this is clear enough but when we take it into real life it is going to be a lot more complicated. Thanks for this post. bobbie
ReplyDeleteYou all have made some excellent points, I really appreciate the responses. To Bobbie, I didnt take it as an insult but I really didnt see it as a compliment either. It was actually rather weird, children are supposed to be well-behaved. Ms. L I know exactly what you are talking about, just a couple weeks ago my one year old threw a fit because we were leaving the play area at the Marble Museuem in Raleigh, NC. People gave me all kinds of weird looks...luckly I dont have thin skin :-)
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